ohshititsgreg:
A part of me dies every time no one gets my joke
cofeecigarettes:
cj-twig:
i want kids but i dont wanna be pregnant or give birth but i dont wanna adopt either because i want them to be mine do you see my problem
basically you want to be a father
this is the most accurate thing i ever read
(Source: crazyfrogvevo)
octupac:
lets play “how rude can i be until u realize i dont like u”
guccier:
it’s 2013 and food can still make you fat get it together science
me at home: i've been wearing the same jeans and band shirt for the last three weeks but it still smells alright so i'll keep wearing it
me going away: I NEED ONE SHIRT FOR EACH DAY AND EXTRA IN CASE IT GETS DIRTY AND THE SAME AMOUNT OF JEANS AND SOCKS ACTUALLY NO I'LL NEED EXTRA SOCKS IN CASE IT FLOODS AND DOUBLE THE UNDERWEAR IN CASE OF DISASTER AND ONE NICE OUTFIT IN CASE I GET INVITED TO TEA WITH THE QUEEN
pizza:
*uses snapchat text bar to cover double chin*
lameborghini:
girls are annoying boys are also annoying (it is ok for me to say this i am a plant)
